Draft 5-addition

For this draft there have been changes made:

• The way the font fades out, a gausian blur has been added which increases to the end of the fade out which gives it more of a ghostly and stylistic effect. 
• The music with the new pieces that we recorded yesterday, there are two pieces one in D-Minor and one in G-Minor as the G-minor sounds more happy, in comparison with D-minor but it still has the melancholy minor scale. 
• The title has changed, it is now "in the Absence of Life" as it tells the audience the story behind  the main character, as there is much of his story that is assumed by the audience.

Evaluation

During this draft I feel that the flashback montage is a key aspect of the film, however the current narrative doesn't allow for the younger boys to be fully integrated into the film, thus the audience will not fully understand the reason behind it. 

The opening dream sequence is also a very impressive and key point of the film, however this sequence is very different to the child montage sequence and the audience may be confused as to the characters relationships. 

Some of the most interesting shots and sound effects are around the 'Coffee sequence'. The slow zoom toward 'Marc' sat on the empty Sofa and the only sound is the ticking clock draw the audience into the scene; while the coffee pouring sequence is also aesthetically pleasing.

The improvement of the sound in the final edit because it is the final composition from Helen.

After watching the film I have noticed continuity errors, which should be fixed in editing. Some I have noticed at the start of the film as there is a short break between the 'Marc' waking up and him lifting his arm, this slows the feel of the film and makes it jump; this can be fixed in the edit. 

To improve the flashback sequences and there integration with the rest of the short film there needs to be another flashback scene which allows for the audience to see the siblings when they are older and during there teenage years. We have planned to shoot a basketball sequence when they are older to show the age progression. This second flashback will be shot in a similar style to the sea montage with the same lighting effects, this will allow for the audience to place the two scenes together. 

The final candle shot of the film is a symbol to show the end of the brothers life, however the shot seems detached and separate from the rest of the sequence. To fix this there needs to be a visual link between the rest of the sequence and the candle. A way to do this is to add a photo of the two brothers at the beginning of the short, putting the photo frame next to the candle will fix the visual link. However the genre of the film and its style does allow to leave the film with an open ended narrative, this will cause the audience to make their own assumptions about the older brother.