The draft is really good for the first edit however:
The music shouldn’t continue all the way through the film as
I think that ruins the feel of the film as I think that silence will work better in its place. Where music is used the ambient sound should be muted. The first set of music should
stop when he wakes up. The cutting should be more in time with the music.
When the camera tracks in to him when hes on the sofa just
make it static or silent. I would say use the sound of rushing waves and water
as that is a good sound for drowning out sound and thought. Get rid of the
dolly zoom on the table as it just doent fit the rest of the film (it is too
stylised for the rest of the shots).
Make the door slam much louder.
Add a crash sound at the end Just to hammer it home and add
one shot of him looking ‘into’ the camera.
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